LEGO Envy

You name it, I've been called it: sad, pathetic, creepy, Sandusky, nuts, man-boy, immature, and bizarre just to name a few. And that's just what people have called me regarding my fascination addiction to collecting LEGO Mini figures! So just to clear the air and get this out of the way: Hello, my name is Jimmy and I have a LEGO problem. To be perfectly honest, my addiction began a long time ago, when I was but a wee lad in Leominster. It was a hunger I could not feed however, as LEGO sets are really expensive as far as toys go, and being the youngest of 10, I'm amazed that I was not sacrificed at an early age to feed the family and make for one less mouth to feed*. Because of that, I had to envy the sets that my spoiled friend had and never wanted to play with as if out of spite!

That son of a bitch had the airport...THE AIRPORT!

So due to the price of LEGO sets, I was left with a 2x3 brick shaped hole in my heart. (and a matching scar on my foot! you ever step on a 2x3 brick barefoot? THE PAIN, oh the pain!) Fast forward a few years to when I started working and making money. I was forced to shelf my fondness for the colorful little bricks in favor of a social life.

Being the Lego guy in high school is about as cool as being involved
in live action role play. (sure they had girls, but at what cost?)  

After high school was college, and any spare cash was not going to be spent on toys, so once again, I set my future hobby adrift on a sea of alcohol and bong water. 8 years later, I was finally finished school** and on the verge of being married.
The next few years were pretty bitchin'. I married my wife, we traveled as much as we could and when the time was right, we made Sloane.*** Having a child was the greatest feeling in the world...I now have an excuse to buy Legos! But it would take some time and a 2nd child to bring my dreams to fruition. The moment everything fell into place was on a trip to Toys R Us to pick up a gift for Sloane.
At the register was a box of series 6 Mini-figures. $3 at the time didn't seem like much to have a small taste of what the kid in me had been clamoring for. I grabbed one, along with my original intended purchase, paid the cashier and made for the car. I waited a total of about 1 minute before tearing open the pack like a crazed 10 year old and was delighted to see the parts for "Bandit". That's all it took for me to be hooked. My addiction is well under control, I typically only get 2-3 new figs per month if I am lucky, but if I should ever be on the receiving end of a large sum of extra cash, there is a solid chance I will end up divorced, living in a storage facility surrounded by millions of tiny bricks.

I'll also have all my little friends!

* Can you imagine having to feed and care for 10 children? I have 2 and feeding them is expensive enough! When I was a kid, I always thought my dad was a hard-ass cheapskate, which he was, but in retrospect, it was for a pretty damn good reason...he had 10 ungrateful little shits like me to feed.
** Don't you judge me! I went to school part time while delivering pizza 60 hours a week. Good money, but your car ends up smelling something awful!
*** You think the instructions for IKEA furniture are complicated, you should try making a kid!