For the love of god, September isn't even over yet!

Why? Why are they already selling Christmas candy?

Just think of them as sweetened Cheerios

It's Sunday morning! Care to see a neat trick? Give your kids a bowl of Lucky Charms or any sweetened oat cereal featuring marshmallows and watch them remove and eat said marshmallows with near-surgical precision, leaving you with a bowl of what is essentially sweetened cheerios. Pour on some cold milk and enjoy your perfectly sweetened breakfast while you watch your kids spin out of control from their sugar high and then crash in the form of a tantrum/melt down. It's like giving a speed freak a little meth and then locking him in a room with no more meth. First, they beg for more. Next they get angry and start to cry. This is followed by an epic meltdown that cannot be stopped; it has to run its course naturally. Finally, they fall into a restful/remorseful state. This is an attempt to garner sympathy and get more of the treat they desire. Don't fall for it. For future reference, give them a banana and some toast: It won't be as much fun to watch, but its better for them, and their reaction won't piss off your neighbors.  

This is what lucky charms look like when their luck has run out.

There's a reason for this...

Dressing them alike makes them slightly less terrifying. The little one has murder in her eyes...or at the very least the desire to destroy or make a mess of something around the house.

Just a warning...

This morning I was allowed to sleep in: 7:15! Upon emerging from the bedroom I was greeted with the words: "just a warning; I gave Quinn a banana this morning and she either ate it really fast or it's somewhere hidden in one of these rooms."
I suppose I'll know for sure if we are overtaken by a fog of fruit flies. Stay tuned for updates!

UPDATE: I found the banana! It was in the refrigerator. (See photo)

Sour Grapes

Why the hell did I not think of this first? I'm a photographer. I'm a dad. I have a really twisted sense of humor. I'm irritated that making a funny calendar via Kickstarter has never crossed my mind.  Not only has this guy made a nice chunk of change off his project (I'm guessing he cleared 5 grand after expenses) but he has also got national exposure from it via various news outlets. That means, he will undoubtedly be publishing this calendar on a large scale. What irk's me the most: his use of HDR (High Dynamic Range) Photography. Its bad enough when people use the process on landscapes, but to apply it to photos of people is just plain awful. 

And he still has 6 more days to go as of this posting!

That settles it. I'm doing a kickstarter project!


Eh, never mind, i'm already distracted!

Lil' Cheater

I let Sloane deal the UNO cards while I got lunch ready today. That was a big mistake. I managed to get 9 cards instead of 8, and they were all red and green. Meanwhile, she miraculously got the four wild cards in the deck as well as the four +2 cards. I've got to teach this kid how to cheat properly!

I give up...

At this point, I think that the president (or anybody on the left) could propose tougher punishments on pedophiles and introduce a law that you cannot piss on a newborn child in malice and the GOP would shoot him down. Yet he is the one who is "failing the country". The Daily Show typically makes me laugh, but in this case, I got angry! (ok, so i laughed too.)