For most guys, there are basic hairstyles to fashion yourself with. The bald look. Easy. You shave your head via clippers or razor and that's it. No barbers, stylists or the outrageous fees that accompany their visits. The part. Whether down the middle or on the side, this is a common classy look. Easy. Throw a bit of gel in it to keep the wet look or, if you have better hair, let it dry and it miraculously stays like that until the next morning. The hat. My personal favorite. I have a hat for every occasion. The work hat, the casual hat and the dress hat (all of which have some sort of Boston sports insignia strewn across the front). If the occasion is too formal for the hat, I throw in some gel and avoid mirrors at all cost. To avoid being douchebag bias, we'll include "the messy look". I don't want any orange-skinned, duck-lipped picture posing gentlemen thinking I have anything against them. As far as the hair department goes, the average male has it pretty easy.
Into our life comes baby. Baby girl. Beautiful, innocent, loving, with a head full of hair that Mommy and Auntie and Nay Nay have such a pristine vision for. If you stay-at-home dads do not share, nor possess the knowledge of how to materialize such visions, there are certain staples in female hairstyles that need to be learned if you are to ever be successful in the art of getting them "mommy ready".
THE PART
Everyone with hair longer than an inch or two has a part. Little girls are no different. The two most common parts are down the middle (yes it's as easy as it sounds) or on the side. The side part can go on the left or right, with one long side and one short side. The part is essential for all lengths of hair. Assuming the child has hair beyond shoulder-length, the part is the gateway for most of the necessary hairstyles. I must note that, if long enough, the hair can go without a part, but let's just get the basics down before we go striving for Paul Mitchell status. In the words of the great Mr. Miyagi, "You want learn punch, Daniel-San? First learn balance."
THE PONYTAIL
Seems simple. Pull all of the hair back and throw a band in it. Voi la! To some, sure, easy as pie. To most fellas, no matter what you do, it just doesn't look quite right. I hate to disappoint, but I have no hidden secrets to divulge. It's just practice. No matter the type of part in the hair (or if it is straigh back), just keep brushing it back into your hand, where you should have the rest gathered, and get it tighter and tighter. This is better practiced when you have ample time on your hands and not before school when you are already 10 minutes late and your child looks like the Bride of Frankenstien. That, I can attest too. You also need a patient child. I suggest a favorite show or movie be put on when in a practice session. Once the ponytail is mastered, you have begun your journey.
THE CLIP/BOBBY PIN
If you are like me and have lost the battle of the bangs, you need to learn how to pin those suckers back. This will help keep the hair out of her face, and the wifey out of yours. This one is pretty simple. Once the part is established and/or the ponytail is set, take the loose hair still dangling around and place it tight with the grain of the rest of her hair. Take the clip or pin and slide it, one side going over all of the hair involved, the other under it as close to the scalp as you can. In my travels I have found that the clips that snap open and closed, or off and on, work the best. Open-ended pieces tend to take finer motor skills, which can be developed at a later time, when hair skills have been refined.
If your wife/girlfriend comes home to a child who's hair is washed, brushed, parted, pulled back and clipped, she should be happy and borderline impressed. I might even go as far as suggesting some sort of gratuitous act to show here sincere appreciation. If your valiant attempt goes unnoticed or is taken for granted, may I suggest that all gratuitous acts toward said significant other be withheld until the hard work, practice and frustration put forth to make your little daddy's girl look beautiful be noticed. Good luck, guys.
